Waterloo

Peach

Hey, peaches! We’re taking another ride on the Peach-A-Whirl, the wild stone fruit attraction that often spins us into carny territory and exploitative entertainment.

Peach is an evocative flavor no doubt, one that conjures the dream of county fairs and the haze of deep fried desserts on stick.

Peaches are a beloved and dreamy drupe. A fragile and delicate beauty that is only perfect for a moment, fading into grainy overripeness too quickly, and an existential disappointment when eaten too soon.

But that perfect peach is stuff of song and poetry.

And peaches are not just enthralling as the edible drupes themselves. Peaches thrive in the land of the metaphorical as well: the emoji a ubiquitous stand-in for the booty, an instantly recognizable symbol of all things succulent and juicy 🍑.

But today, we’d like to witness this Waterloo Peach through the lens of one of America’s most beloved Peaches: The Rockford Peach.

The 20th century feminine heroine, floating her country through wartime angst with her feisty moxie and sultry athleticism.

A quick note on Waterloo

Since selling themselves to Flexis Capital in 2020, Waterloo has become a commodity brand while still carrying themselves with the caché of a more boutique brand.

They kind of manage to be an allegory for Austin herself: totally co-opted by the mainstream capitalism forces that inevitably come for everything interesting and original and turn into a machine for profit, but still coasting on some keep-us-weird, originality cred that may not be merited anymore.

But somehow they manage to thread that needle. Dare we say: They’re in a League of Their Own. (🤢Apologies)

So anyway, today we shall take a sip of our own little Rockford Peach.

But first let’s examine the l’air du peche: the aromatics are already knocking it out of the park (no, we’re not going to stop with these). This has depth. This is a peach rendering landing squarely at the center of the bullseye.

There’s not just the fruit itself, but a playful whiff of candy peach rings. (We love a gummy!) and if that wasn’t spirited enough, the scent is enough to carry you into the land of topicals: specifically some peach hand creams, moisturizing your senses into peach oblivion.

You can almost smell the pit.

Tasting Notes

🍑⚾️🏆

Crack it open and take a deep guzzle, because this peach is a home run. This is our Dottie winding up her bat and blasting this peach center left and out into the cornfields of Racine.

This peach truly is as pure and true as the hallowed summer pastime itself.

There’s less of a sweet and cloying finish than you might think with these Pure Peach Vibes. In fact, there’s more of an aromatic, floral quality, which we love, because it keeps this light and high. As Kit would say, we also love the high ones.

This is the dripping drupe without the lingering stickiness. It’s the summertime halcyon reve, without the fire ants and family squabbles.

Peach is a popular flavor to offer up to the insatiable seltzer crowd, and it’s not the easiest to pull off. It’s pretty easy to fall into one-note sweetness and you’re left yearning for the refreshing palate cleanser of a citrus by the time you work your way to the bottom of the can.

Not here.

This is sophisticated and airy enough to take you through the Journey of the Stone Fruit without falling into those funhouse foibles that distort and confuse.

Obviously, because this is a sparkling water, there’s no sugar. And it’s hard to fully conjure a peach without those drizzly rivulets of fructose streaming down your chin. Waterloo does manage to invoke a certain type of peach-sweetness in this. (Or else it’s just our tongues tasting the peach essence and our brains extrapolating the rest, like a peach optical illusion!)

But because there’s no saccharine center at the heart of this flavor, we’re able to spend some time exploring some of the subtler facets of peachiness: the slightly bitter fuzz, the green tang, the luscious pit.

We hold this as the first prize winner in the county fair of our peach sparkling water dreams, and they definitely beat those Kenosha Peach-Pears.

Sorry not sorry to all of the lesser Peaches out there, but buck up:

There’s no crying in the bubbleverse.