In the long history of famous lovers, from Orpheus & Eurydice, to Marc Antony & Cleopatra, to Garfield & Lasagna, there has been one true everlasting love that, towering above even these storied twin flames, outshines them all: Lemon & Lime. 💛💚
Gods and mortals alike can only attain a paltry and envious shadow of their eternal, fleshy, sour embrace. At once distinct, and yet inseparable. How do they mesh so well while retaining their sovereignty? One of the great mysteries of love and partnership.
But unfortunately, in our fallen world, these two lovers have too often been forcefully entwined with interlopers, a corn-syrupy, star-crossed ménage à quatre involving fructose & sucrose.
But finally, Waterloo has arrived to cleanse what man has sullied.
The nose is slightly unexpected: while there is a familiar 7UPness rising from the depths, there are evocative and strange undernotes of vanilla, toffee, or caramel.
But fear not, there is no toasted butteryness in the sip, just perfect, crisp, pure, symmetrical limóns.
This is the quintessence of Sprite, the beating heart of 7UP (actually, the beating heart of 7UP is lithium, regrettably removed from the ingredients long ago). We indulge on every sip like we’re getting all the joy of sugary soda, but what we’re slurping is pure, harmonious union.
Sometimes we’re not even sure what we’re tasting. Is it lemon? Is it lime? And therein lies the beauty of this affaire. It thrives on the merging singularity into a truer, higher ONENESS.
Surpassing even the heights of Waterloo’s Lime or Lemon, this is the definition of “more than the sum of the parts,” a green & yellow yin yang blending eternally at the source of the Tao of the bubbleverse.
This flavor has apparently replaced both Waterloo’s solo Lime and Lemon flavors. And it not only reunites what Waterloo themselves had sundered, but an ancient fissure in the genetic lineage of citrus.
The origins of both lemons and limes are steeped in mystery and controversy, and we just took a trip down the rabbit hole of scientific speculation. The papers have scintillating titles like “Phylogenetic origin of limes and lemons revealed by cytoplasmic and nuclear markers”, and “Plant chimeras: The good, the bad, and the ‘Bizzaria'”.
Turns out the history of citrus is a wild bacchanalia, something out of Hieronymus Bosch’s most feverish lithium dreams. All kinds of star-crossed micro-species intertwining, diverging, dovetailing, and eventually merging again into the dual pinnacles of both Waterloo’s Grapefruit and Lemon-Lime sparkling waters.
Thanks for coming to our Ted Talk.
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