After the internet almost lost its mind in 2019 when the LaCroix Mystery Pink Flavor rollout turned out to be Hibiscus and NOT Watermelon, LaCroix listened to the angry mob.
In 2020, they decided to roll out not one, but two flavors. One of those was Limoncello, and the other, at long last, was the coveted WATERMELON.
The build-up for this wildly popular flavor got so over-the-top, how could it be possible to neutrally receive the latest offering to the Sparkling Water Overlords (aka Millennials)? Could LaCroix deliver a watermelon not destined to disappoint?
A note on the name: While LaCroix is no stranger to dabbling in foreign tongues to impart an elan of international mystery, it amuses us that LaCroix went to a clear effort to class this up by calling this sparkling water “pastèque”, and yet, it still just says (watermelon) parenthetically underneath. Why bother then, LaCroix?
Lol. We don’t mind, but much like this impressionistically rendered watermelon drawing, it’s a little silly. We embrace the fanciful nature of The Sparkling Water Renaissance, so no complaints here. In fact, keep it up.
The nose on this is at once specific and confusing. We get a strong l’air de Jolly Rancher. But upon further whiffing, there’s a distinct aroma of cantaloupe. And honeydew?
Is it possible that LaCroix managed to roll up all melons into one all-inclusive megamelon Jolly Rancher sparkling water? Is that why they need to explicitly declare that it’s actually watermelon on the can?
So here we go. We take a sip.
This is not a sweet, sugary ranchermelon after all. Huzzah! This veers less into the sticky, saccharine watermelon genre, and more towards the refreshing, cool actual fruit genre. But it’s not quite crisp, exactly, there’s a roundness to it that won’t let you forget you’re not drinking the real thing.
Despite what the can art might lead you to believe, and in contrast to its recent counterparts, the limoncello and the hi-biscus, this watermelon demonstrates some restraint, like the LaCroixs of yore.
Way less loud and comical than say the AHA Lime + Watermelon, which careens almost into Taste The Rainbow overdose.
Perhaps they did succeed in evoking a sophisticated French-inspired interpretation of watermelon. An element of earthy off-the-vine magic is conjured here. As if not just the gritty pink flesh slid into the juicer, but the rind as well.
There’s a lingering je ne sais quoi that we aren’t entirely sure we adore. We might prefer the fresh finish of the Waterloo Waterlemon. But this has a delightful enveloping exegesis of the spirit of watermelon: the pinkness, the white between the rind and the flesh, the promise of picnics and balmy summer nights, that keeps us coming back for more and more sips.
We will definitely be keeping this in rotation, especially on hot summer evenings, basking in a LaCroix-induced joie de vivre.
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