“Functional” water is all the rage these days. Which is understandable: between the ceaseless grinding of late stage capitalism, climate change, and pandemia, our souls have become black holes into which we all must pour endless amounts of carbonated Ashwagandha and l-theanine.
And it’s getting cut-throat out there in the adaptogen-verse: evil empire PepsiCo, not content with somehow eating up most of the sparkling water market share with their weak-ass bublies, has recently been accused of “Corporate Plagiarism” by the adaptogenic sparkling water startup Droplet (formerly known as Dewdrop, until they were sued by Pepsi for using the word “dew” in their name 😒).
We haven’t forayed much into the functional water cosmos here in the Bubbleverse, though, due to our strict no calorie policy. Many of these functional concoctions have sugar or some other type of sweetener, or even just trace amounts of calories from whatever plant matter is in the various herbal extracts used.
Don’t get us wrong! We want to be functional. And to be clear: it’s not like we’re just naturally functional people on our own and don’t need something to get us out of bed, and keep us producing/grinding throughout the day. It’s just that most of the time it seems you can’t be functional without slipping in a lil’ sugar, and so we wind up functioning only with the help of CBD & caffeine.
So you can imagine our excitement when we came across HyVida at some far-flung northwoods grocery store, promising “Sparkling 2.0”. Sparkling water with magnesium?! Magnesium is our favorite mineral!
Not only magnesium: molecular hydrogen! We don’t even know what that is, but sure, load us up. Take our money.
Well, we didn’t know then, but we know now. Before we crack open this can, let’s do a little deep dive into the latest trend in hydrating.
Hydrogen is the most common element in the universe, and comprises two-thirds of every water molecule. You basically can’t escape it. It’s everywhere. Which might lead you to wonder: do I really need to pay more money to add more hydrogen to my already 60% hydrogen sparkling water?
We’ll let you decide that for yourself, but here’s the tea on H2.
In 2007, it was discovered that H2 had profound antioxidant effects, launching a flurry of studies and even an Institute devoted to studying the potential medical applications of molecular hydrogen.
This Healthline article seems like it’s trying pretty hard to be shady, but when it comes time to look at the actual research, it’s….actually pretty intriguing. Antioxidants? Potentially lowers LDL cholesterol? Greater power output during sprinting exercises??
Obviously you can’t make any sort of health claims based on a couple of one-off studies, and the Institute is presumably hard at work doing more science, but we’re officially fascinated by molecular hydrogen here in the Bubbleverse.
Either way, enter HyVida stage right.
HyVida makes three flavors of their magnesium/hydrogen sparkling waters: pure, lemon-lime, and raspberry. (All of which are organic, btw.) And they’re apparently about to rebrand, “emphasizing fun and flavor” for 2021.
But we’re going to start with the pure, so we can encounter the hydrogen and magnesium in all their molecular, mineral glory, unencumbered by flavor or fun.
The instructions on the can read “Savor your first mouthful. Feel the breakthrough smoothness.”
Well, if you insist.
💧 ⚗️ ⚛️
We do have to admit, this is some pretty breakthrough smoothness right here. There’s a delicious mouthfeel to the HyVida, it feels substantial and very wet. We are savoring to the max.
It’s not the sensation of minerality per se, even though the magnesium is clearly doing some mineral magic. In the absence of other minerals like chloride, the magnesium lends a certain heft to the water, but no taste; HyVida has a pretty unique mouthfeel.
The bubbles are light but crisp, tiny little things that barely register at first but come alive on the finish, just subtly effervescent enough to register as a sparkling water.
How much of the bubble quality is from the H2? It’s hard to say, but there has to be some tongue-tickling happening from the dissolved hydrogen. The can does implore us to finish drinking it within 30 minutes, presumably because that’s how long the hydrogen sticks around before disappearing into the atmosphere (and eventually into space).
We’d pound these all day if we could: they’re insanely refreshing.
It is important to note that all the subjects in the hydrogen studies that showed results were drinking about a liter of hydrogen water every day. Each can of HyVida is 355ml, which means drinking about 3 a day, if you’re trying to make yourself a test subject in service to the Institute.
We wish we could afford the full hydrogen lifestyle, but we’ll take some solace in the fact that a dose of magnesium before bed, in our experience at least, gives us a deep, restful slumber and is the perfect nightcap after a workout or other physical exertion.
Maybe someday HyVida will sponsor the Bubbleverse as a team in the Sparkling Water Olympics, and we’ll be lousy with their addicting magnesium waters and our increased muscle output, but until then we’ll just be here writing away, trying to support our newfound Hydrogen Habit.
10/10 would recommend to a friend.
(We consider you a friend, so you can use the code bubbleverse to get 10% off from HyVida 😘)
Carbonated Water, Magnesium, Hydrogen (1.6ppm)
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